“I feel anxious about my pet.” This is a statement many pet owners probably can relate to.
Perhaps not surprisingly, discussions about worry in the human-animal bond have been increasing. For many people, pets are family. A recent survey suggests that for over 80% of Canadians, pets are not just distant companions, but beings with a significant emotional, relational, and social impact on their lives. In this context, it is not surprising that many pet guardians experience concerns about their pet’s well-being. Understanding anxiety in the context of the human-animal bond can help pet guardians to take care of themselves while promoting animal welfare.
These concerns can take many forms. They may involve worries about the pet’s physical health, stress related to behavioural issues, anxiety about being separated from the pet, or intrusive thoughts that arise throughout the day. Some emerging research suggests that separation from a pet may be associated with higher levels of anxiety and may even act as a risk factor for broader mental health challenges, such as anxiety and depression.
In clinical practice, it is not uncommon to encounter clients who struggle with managing perceived “undesirable” pet behaviours, or who feel overwhelmed by financial concerns when their pet becomes ill. Others experience ongoing worry about whether their pet is okay when left alone. Despite how common these experiences are, there is still a lack of professionals who are trained to work specifically with the human–animal bond. As a result, many people feel out of place when bringing these concerns into therapy.
Among those who identify as “pet parents,” there can even be a sense of embarrassment around using this language, often due to perceived social judgment. Yet, the reality is that these concerns are increasing, and more people are openly acknowledging the emotional impact their pets have on their mental health.
How Therapy Can Help
Therapy can offer a space to better understand and work through these concerns. Approaches such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) can be helpful in guiding clinical work in this area. When anxiety related to a pet becomes intense, some core aspects of therapy may include:
- 1. Identifying triggers and setting clear goals: Understanding what activates worry is a key first step. This is not always easy, and some triggers might be overlooked. Once these triggers are identified, therapy can help define clear goals for each context. From there, it is possible to introduce strategies to manage thoughts and emotional responses related to the pet’s health, behaviour, or time spent alone.
- 2. Learning to tolerate uncertainty: Strategies drawn from ERP and ACT can be especially useful in addressing uncertainty related to the pet. At times, learning to identify what situations are not under pet guardians’ control is an important step. Many concerns about pets are rooted in “what if” scenarios, particularly when a pet is unwell or out of sight. Therapy can help clients relate to these thoughts differently, rather than becoming consumed by them.
- 3. Exploring attachment patterns: It can also be helpful to understand how attachment patterns show up in the relationship with the pet, and sometimes in relationships with other people. In some cases, there may be a sense of over-responsibility or an idealized view of oneself as a caregiver, leading to excessive self-pressure.
- 4. Addressing grief and loss: Grief-focused therapy is also important, as feelings of grief can be experienced not only when a pet dies. It can also happen in situations of separation, rehoming, or when a pet goes missing. These experiences can carry significant emotional weight and deserve to be acknowledged. In some of these situations, there may exist feelings of guilt that intensify pet guardians’ emotional distress.
The Importance of Validation
When the emotional bond between a person and their pet is overlooked, the complexity of that relationship is often missed. Like any meaningful relationship, the human–animal bond involves both joy and challenge. Learning how to navigate difficult moments is essential for maintaining a healthy relationship — one that supports both the person’s wellbeing and the animal’s welfare.
As a professional who specializes in the human–animal bond, I invite you to reflect on the complexity of this relationship. More importantly, I encourage you to seek spaces where this bond is recognized and validated. Validation is often the first step toward meaningful change.