Grief and compulsive buying may not seem immediately connected. After losing someone, including a pet, some people begin to experience a range of emotions and difficulties regulating them. Grief can involve a mixture of sadness and longing, changes in routine, difficulty concentrating, and sometimes a desire to withdraw from other people. Other changes, however, may be less obvious. For example, someone may notice that they are spending more time browsing online stores, putting things in their cart, or buying things they do not necessarily need. Some people may experience a stronger urge to shop, particularly when they are feeling sad, anxious, or lonely.
At first, people may not associate these changes with grief. Shopping does not seem, at first glance, to have a direct relationship with the person or animal who died. However, could there be a relationship between grief and changes in shopping behaviour?
What Does Research Say About Grief and Compulsive Buying?
There is a considerable body of research on compulsive buying-shopping and mental health, but the specific relationship between bereavement and compulsive buying is still understudied. For this reason, it is not possible to say that grief directly causes compulsive buying. However, the existing literature allows us to consider some mechanisms that may help explain why people might notice changes in their shopping behaviour during emotionally difficult periods.
For example, research has associated compulsive buying-shopping with difficulties in emotion regulation, anxiety, and psychological distress. One particularly relevant aspect is that shopping may sometimes be used to regulate internal emotional states. This can be helpful when thinking about changes in shopping behaviour during grief, not because increased shopping necessarily indicates a disorder, but because the behaviour may be serving an emotional function.
Why Might Shopping Feel Different During Grief?
Grief does not involve only missing someone. It can affect our routines, our sense of identity, our social connections, and the ways we usually regulate our emotions. After the loss of a pet, for example, the sense of predictability that existed in everyday life may suddenly disappear. A pet may have been part of feeding routines, daily walks, coming home from work, sleeping routines, or other caregiving activities. Their absence can therefore leave very concrete empty spaces throughout the day.
In this context, shopping may sometimes become a way of regulating emotions. Buying something can provide anticipation, distraction, or a temporary change in emotional state. There may also be a temporary sense of satisfaction associated with making a purchase. This does not mean that someone has developed compulsive buying-shopping disorder. A person may simply notice that they are shopping more during a particularly difficult period. However, understanding the function of this behaviour can provide useful information about how someone is experiencing and coping with grief.
Instead of asking only, “How do I stop shopping?”, it may therefore be useful to also ask, “Why am I doing this?” or “What function is this behaviour serving for me right now?” Some people may experience recurrent urges to buy that feel difficult to control, spend beyond their budget, or continue buying despite negative consequences. Looking at whether the behaviour is causing distress or significant problems in someone’s life can help distinguish between a temporary change in shopping habits and a pattern that may require greater attention. The goal is not to pathologize every change in behaviour during grief, but to understand it within the broader context of how each person is responding to a loss.
Pet Loss May Make This Connection Particularly Difficult to Recognize
Pet loss is still socially minimized in many contexts, even though losing an animal can produce significant grief. Because of this, some people may not talk openly about what they are experiencing or may not recognize certain changes in their behaviour as potentially connected to their loss. For some people, the death of a pet can be associated with very significant grief symptoms, even when those around them do not fully recognize the importance of the relationship they have lost.
Someone may notice that they are spending considerably more time shopping online, browsing stores, adding many items to their cart, or experiencing a sense of temporary relief after making a purchase. Sometimes the things they are looking at or buying may be related to their pet, while at other times they may have no apparent connection to the loss at all. This can make the relationship between grief and shopping behaviour particularly difficult to recognize.
It can be useful to observe when the urge to shop appears and whether it tends to occur alongside particular feelings or situations. Does it happen when you feel lonely? After looking at a photograph? When you arrive home and notice your pet is no longer there? During a time of day that used to involve a particular routine? Paying attention to these moments can provide important information about what you are experiencing. This is not about judging the behaviour or assuming that every change in shopping habits represents a mental health disorder. Instead, it is about becoming curious about what the behaviour may be communicating about your experience of loss.
When Should I Consider Therapy?
If shopping begins to create financial problems, significant guilt, conflicts with other people, or a sense of losing control, it may be helpful to seek professional support. Therapy does not necessarily need to focus simply on the goal of “stopping shopping.” It can also provide space to understand the grief itself, make room for emotions that may not have had enough space elsewhere, and explore the function that shopping has started to serve during this period.
Changes in behaviour can occur after a significant loss, and not every response to grief is immediately recognizable as grief. Changes in shopping habits may need to be understood within this broader context rather than viewed in isolation. Approaching these changes with curiosity and self-compassion can be particularly important. Judging yourself for how you are responding to a loss is unlikely to make the experience easier; understanding what is happening and what you may need during this period can be a much more useful place to begin.